Saturday, May 31, 2008

Finished!



Honestly, I'd write more, but I think my fingers are about to fall off.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Sprint to the finish!

Alright, so it's 7:54 PM on Thursday, and I just woke up, ready to start my night shift at 9:30 PM. As of this moment, my word count sits at 34,046. (WPDNTF = 7363) With two days, four hours and fifteen minutes of May left, I have officially run out of procrastination time. I need to write this thing now.

So here's the deal: No sleep until my word count hits 50,000.

15,954 words in that time period? Definitely possible, and with any luck, I should be finished Friday evening some time. But in any case, drastic measures such as this call for a liveblog. So I'll keep everyone posted as this marathon writing session continues, until I either pass out from fatigue and fall short of the finish line, or emerge victorious, ridiculing the lot of you who committed to this thing at the beginning of the month, but ultimately failed in your objective.

Onward! Onward I say!
10:35 PM: 34,046. I'm all settled in at work, the afternoon shift has gone home, and I'm gearing up for a long night of writing. It's not easy around here...even at night, there's too many distractions. I have been unbelievably productive at my job this last month, just because it's an excuse not to write. This project really is geared toward unemployed starving artists. Is it any wonder, then, that NaNoWriMo started in San Francisco?

12:01 AM: 34,700. Happy Friday, everyone.

2:12 AM: 35,846. Of course, tonight of all nights, shit starts breaking down at work and I've been running around most of the last hour trying to put the fires out. I also need to eat something.

4:33 AM: 37,674. 75% complete, but that also means I have to write a quarter of this thing before I can sleep. I think I'll wrap it up for now and get going again when I get home. At least I don't have to work tomorrow...

7:40 AM: Still 37,674. But I am home from work and away from the distractions, I just ate breakfast, and my Oilers hat is on my head inside out and backwards in rally cap fashion. Git 'er done!

10:18 AM: 41,297. A fair chunk still left to go, but getting there.
12:30 PM: 44,176. Uh oh. I hit the end of my novel. Better go back and put in some filler. This could take a while. Better go get some lunch too.

2:31 PM: tknj b kjbnn bbkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk Oops, I wasn't asleep. Really. 46,236 words. I should just start killing off characters at random. That should fill those 3,800 words I need.

3:10 PM: 47,239. So close, yet so far...

3:56 PM: 48,508. Have I ever mentioned how dumb I am for attempting this thing for a second time? Well, I'm mentioning it now. Oh well, at least the finish line is in sight...

4:39 PM: 49,789. Shit, only 211 more words to go (plus 55 to make up for chapter headings, the title page, and other words most people don't count.) I have Queen queued up in media player...

4:53 PM:


I've paid my dues, time after time,
I've done my sentence but committed no crime.
And bad mistakes, I've made a few,
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I've come through
We are the champions - my friends,
And well keep on fighting - till the end,
We are the champions -We are the champions
No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions - of the world
Ive taken my bows, and my curtain calls,
You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it -I thank you all,
But its been no bed of roses, no pleasure cruise,
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race, and I ain't gonna lose
We are the champions - my friends
And well keep on fighting - till the end
We are the champions -We are the champions
No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions - of the world
I'm finished! That's two completed novels for me, if anyone's counting. And remember to check the facebook group; I told all you bitches I would finish at the beginning of the month. But, I also said there would be one other completed novel...
So, to the others who are out there still sweating it out (Samuel and that Paul Knoechel fellow, and anyone else who hasn't been heard from but may still be lurking out there,) keep going! The relief of finishing is like nothing you have ever experienced before, I assure you. To have come this far only to fail is unthinkable. The rally cap salutes you, good sirs.
I should probably get some sleep some time soon, although I'm debating staying up for a while longer so my sleep pattern doesn't get all messed up for the weekend. In any case, I'm going to play We Are the Champions a few more times...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Rally Cap



tap tap...Hello? Is this thing on?
It looks like everyone who was participating in this thing has mysteriously disappeared. Steve sent out a message asking for word count, and Bazin mentioned on Facebook that he was quitting, but no one else has been seen or heard from in over a week. If it's because of word count, you're certainly not alone, but I'm going to pull from baseball superstition and start a miraculous comeback.
I'm going to post my word count and my words per day needed to finish here on a daily basis until I reach 50,000.
May 19: 17834, WPDNTF = 2681
May 20: 19093, WPDNTF = 2810
May 21: 20320, WPDNTF = 2968
May 22: 20320, WPDNTF = 3298
May 23: 20320, WPDNTF = 3710
May 24: 21249, WPDNTF = 4108
May 25: 25383, WPDNTF = 4103
May 26: 26565, WPDNTF = 4687
May 27: 27041, WPDNTF = 5740
May 28: 28097, WPDNTF = 7301
Anyone else who is too stubborn (or just too stupid) to abandon this thing is welcome to join me.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

It Must Be Week 2

Excellent news! My novel has stalled, and I'm now behind the 1667 words per day needed to finish. I wrote 24 words on Friday night before throwing up my hands and saying "Fuck it!" and spending four hours at the craps table. (Note: the exact written words were "They walked over to the bar and ordered a drink. Alex wasn’t sure of the beer in this country, so he ordered a Foster’s.")

To make matters worse, items from Magna Carta II are finding their way into my novel. I hate bar and restaurant settings where the characters engage in idle conversation, and I've written three already. Fuck. At this point, it seems like the characters are just going through the motions and I can't think of anything interesting for them to say or do.

I keep reassuring myself by reminding myself that I'm still ahead of where I was this time last year and I managed to finish, and it was worse last year; I had advanced the plot to the point where I was running out of stuff to write.

I think I need to do something drastic to get this project back on the rails. One of my characters might have to suffer an untimely end...

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Thursday, May 08, 2008

Countdown to miserable, miserable failure

You all sicken me. Especially the majority of you who failed to report. And more especially me.

Adam Demaniuk - 13,337
Paul Knoechel - 12,103
Josh Bazin - 10,115
Steve Smith - 7,427
Sarah Bidanjiri - 4,501
Amanda Henry - 4,170
Nicholas Tam - 3,231
Shannon Collum - 2,900
Steph Shantz - 2,019
Courtney Burr - 1,988
Erin Reddekopp - 1,362

Objective for next week: sicken me less.

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Saturday, May 03, 2008

Chance of failure: high

As far as I can tell, the first time that I'm going put towards novel writing will be, at best, Sunday after midnight (otherwise known as "Monday morning"). If I'm not able to pick up the pace (and there is every indication that I won't be) this endevour seems doomed. But I'm not ready to call it just yet.

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Friday, May 02, 2008

By the numbers

Instead of writing, I am currently playing with my calculator widget.

With 26 hours behind us, here are some quick statistics that amused me (don't worry - it's all downhill from here).

Total words so far: 2569
Average words per hour: 98 (or 550 or so, if you count by the actual hours)
Completion (by percentage): 5%
Chapters: 4
Major plot points passed: None
Digressions completed unrelated to plot advancement: 1.5
Characters introduced: 7
References to real people: 5
That I know: 2
Cursewords: 2
Penis jokes: 1

If I maintain this pace, I'll be finished this thing by 2:30 am on the morning of May 22nd.
Nothing of substance will have occurred, and my novel will include 38.9 curse words.

This thing clearly needs more curse words.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Wait a second, this is a terrible idea ...

Some of you may be familiar with my boastful, arrogant and semi-insane offer. If you're not, let me summarize for you:

Chris: "Hey! Who wants free money?!"
843 people: "Me!"
Chris: "Awesome! I'll get that to you as soon as I fail at writing a novel and, by extension, fail at life!"
843 people: "Sweet! We're rooting against you!"

This *could* be brilliant. I have promised away a potential $8,430, and I do *not* have $8,430 (I don't even have $8.43). So, by backing myself into a fiscal corner (one from which I am unable to escape), you might conclude that I've ensured my success. You might. But then, you'd be underestimating my wildly powerful urge to procrastinate.

There's an insane internal war raging right now. On one hand, you have my pride, my future financial security, my reputation, my competitive instinct, and my desire to avoid becoming the butt of every NaNoWriMo joke from here until they retire the concept. On the other hand, you have my lazi