I Interrupt My Shameful Neglect of This Blog...
...to announce that I'm done. 50,010 words of novel at 6:51 this morning, not including title page, chapter headings, "the end", or anything else that anybody might try to claim doesn't count. I have a screenshot of my word count, but me USB key seems to have died on my, so I have no way of getting said screenshot from my laptop to a computer with an internet connection. So for now you'll just have to take my word for it.
I'm a novelist. Not a good novelist, mind you. The kind of novelist who would probably be rejected by the Romance Writers' Guild of America for "cliched writing" and "lack of oringality in plots". But still: a motherfucking novelist! A novelist! Who fucks mothers! In our cities! In Canada!
For those of you - that beiong Jake and Dan - who are close to finishing and who are sustaining yourselves largely on the anticipation of the euphoria that will hit when you finish, let me assure you that it's everything you imagined it would be and more. And I imagine this is true even if you haven't just consumed three times the recommended maximum daily intake of Full Throttle energy drink. Go hard, dammit!
And now, Queen on repeat.
...to announce that I'm done. 50,010 words of novel at 6:51 this morning, not including title page, chapter headings, "the end", or anything else that anybody might try to claim doesn't count. I have a screenshot of my word count, but me USB key seems to have died on my, so I have no way of getting said screenshot from my laptop to a computer with an internet connection. So for now you'll just have to take my word for it.
I'm a novelist. Not a good novelist, mind you. The kind of novelist who would probably be rejected by the Romance Writers' Guild of America for "cliched writing" and "lack of oringality in plots". But still: a motherfucking novelist! A novelist! Who fucks mothers! In our cities! In Canada!
For those of you - that beiong Jake and Dan - who are close to finishing and who are sustaining yourselves largely on the anticipation of the euphoria that will hit when you finish, let me assure you that it's everything you imagined it would be and more. And I imagine this is true even if you haven't just consumed three times the recommended maximum daily intake of Full Throttle energy drink. Go hard, dammit!
And now, Queen on repeat.
posted by "Steve Smith" at 6:12 AM
11 Comments:
I'm taking full credit for him finishing early...as usual.
Yeah, I'm about three hours from finish.
The problem is, although I want and need to take a break, I think I was just getting good at doing this. It'll almost be a shame to stop.
Have you ever read a romance novel (I'm certain the you probably have)? They're full of clichés!
Well, I alone have given him two: one with a pirate, and one with a viking.
In fact, you actually can't write a romance novel without clichés. I'm not being sarcastic here. You actually can't.
Romance novels are actually pornography. And not in the way that you think. All genre literature is actually pornography.
Essentially it titillates you through being a comfort food. Surprises shock the reader out of that comfort. The only time that surprises are needed is when they are in fact part of the genre and, in fact, a cliché.
So that is the difference between pop lit and high-brow lit. Titillate versus stimulate. Of course, the greatest works do both, while the worst do neither.
Uh...they are pornography in the way you think as well. At least the ones I used to read. Thus, they were stimulating!
Quod Erat Demonstrandum.
congrats Steve....now, about that report....
Heather, that's sort of the point. I mean that my writing is *so* cliched that the Romance Writers' Guild of America would reject it.
See? Humour!
Despite what some people might think it is impossible for something to be 110% of something else
For example: A romance novel can't be 110% clichés. Therefore, since a romance novel is already 100% clichés, you could not be kicked out of writing romance novels for having too many clichés
The application of that principle is correct, but the principle itself is flawed, as it's quite possible for something to be 110% of something else. My greatness, for example, is 110% of Jesus' greatness.
Sorry something can not be made up of more than 100% content. For example there can never be more than 100% of the cake I just baked.
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